My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
