I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
