Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
