Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
