i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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