We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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