i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
