There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
