Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
