Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
