I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
