oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
