drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
