You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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