i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Randomize
