Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
