I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
