i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
