My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
