Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
