today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
