porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
