guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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