Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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