people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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