I murdered the dance floor call the cops
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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