The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I wish there were birth control emojis
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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