My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
please come you make the beer taste better
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
