just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
