Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
