Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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