Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
