I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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