just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
