that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
