The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
