But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
