i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
