evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
If that was your dad, he is hot
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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