Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
