Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm jealous of your bromance
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Randomize
