she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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