can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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