Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
