i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
