she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
