That's when you crack a 10am beer
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
