I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
