Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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