You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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