Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
